Family Mediation

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Bob Collins, Family Mediator • Fort Smith, AR • $70-80 per hour

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After 16 years, we're still our best example of how divorce and stepparenting is survivable and how happy you can be with the right guidance!

With 15 years' experience as a peacemaker and coach for breaking and broken families, I specialize in stepfamilies and divorced parents who are trying to make a difficult partnership work.

My clients have rebuilt strong relationships from near disasters! Mediation is not long term, expensive nor complicated; it just helps you find solutions to the tough problems you're battling over.

Visit my website for full information.

Question and answer

Q. Describe the most common types of jobs you do for your clients.

A. Helping stepfamilies settle disputes about rebellious stepkids, interfering ex-spouses, and couple conflicts. Also helping divorced parents come to working agreements about how to raise their children successfully, despite the emotional challenges involved.

Q. What advice do you have for a customer looking to hire a provider like you?

A. Don't wait and hope things will get better. They almost never do. Relationship conflicts in second marriages, or between divorced parents just get more entangled and more emotional the longer they continue. Begin a program of peacemaking now. Your children are counting on you to provide a safe, nurturing environment for them - you cannot do that while involved in a hostile battle of wills.

Q. Why does your work stand out from others who do what you do?

A. My service comes from my personal experience with divorce, remarriage, and being a stepparent. In addition to education and experience with 1,000s of clients, my personal understanding of both the concerns and the dynamics of these fields allows me to empathize with hurting families.

Q. What do you like most about your job?

A. When I can see a couple - married or divorced and parenting together - move from being stuck in anger and conflict, to the "Ah-ha" point of understanding how to make it work, all the effort becomes worthwhile. I absolutely LOVE knowing I have been able to help a family succeed.

Q. What questions do customers most commonly ask you? What's your answer?

A. How will mediation help us? We've already tried counseling and it didn't do any good. - First, understand that mediation is a wholly different process than counseling. Counseling (a valuable service) focuses on the individuals' strengths, weaknesses, and growth. Mediation focuses strictly on the problems to be solved. As a mediator, I am not trying to make you a better husband, wife, mom, or dad. My job is to guide you to a satisfactory solution that both sides can accept.

What is your success rate? - I have a tremendous success rate! In 15 years of helping stepparenting couples and divorced parents learn to work together and settle their differences, I've have very few failures. Guided reasoning and open discussions, when lead by a competent professional almost always will help an intelligent, reasonable couple find a solution.

I'm embarrassed to admit my family is failing - again! Why should I subject myself to more upset? - The divorce rate for 2nd marriages is 66%, for 3rd marriages is 85%! The odds are against stepfamilies succeeding ... without help. When you entered your new marriage, you weren't aware of all the pitfalls and challenges you faced. I am. And because of my experience I know how to help you find your way through the maze. And you won't shock me. I've heard it all and learned that all stepfamilies have to deal with many of the same challenges.

Testimonials

September 16, 2011

This is not exactly a testimonial...I picked up on what you laid down with Channel 5. Believe me..I understand exactly where Mr. Palmer was coming from....and, you nailed it in what little you had to say. My situation started 23 years ago and I'll spare you the details. However, I will probably never completely get over it. I had to completely start my life over at 40. I had absolutely nothing..a judge took my business...all of my money...my home...and my children and gave them to my wife. Hard..it was.. oh yes. I simply channeled all the pain into doing to the government everything that they had done to me. Did it work? I just retired...couldn't have without my solution. Any regrets? Wished I could have done more, and wished I would never have had to resort to that solution in the first place. I considered Mr. Palmer's way of doing things...thought about taking the solution to the problem. Believe me, I dreamed about it. That was 20 years ago. I'm now at peace with it. I would never go looking for any settlement at this time in my life. I feel that the government screwed me bad...and I have done my best to return the favor. This situation in Crawford County brings back emotions...I could probably talk to you and tell you things about this situation better than anyone else you could ever speak with...Absolutely! I know exactly what happened there and this is not a direction that I am interested in pursuing. I share with you this in respect and confidentiality. You mentioned that we often keep the lid on. I'm sure that's true....however, there will forever be a line drawn in the sand that line goes by the name of no quarter. I would not want to be the one that crossed it. I hope that I don't sound angry...and I really wish that I could have known Mr. Palmer and perhaps I could have helped him to find peace in a living way. Mr. Collins, you appear to me as an intelligent therapist that probably understands this quite well......kind of an M. Scott peck type.

– David

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Bob Collins, Family Mediator

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