FAQs
- What education and/or training do you have that relates to your work?
Like many licensed professionals, I am required to take a certain amount of professional hours of training. However, I also spend parts of most days immersed in everything from early Christianity and Greek language studies to particle physics and the nature of personality. I believe that to be a good therapist you must know something about just about everything, even if the only thing you know is how hard or complex it is to learn this thing. In this way, I seem to more resemble a six year old than a normal adult. To wit, I seem to have a bottomless curiosity to learn new things, including the things my clients teach me.
- How did you get started doing this type of work?
Life changing events rarely announce themselves. The one that happened to me when I was twelve was no exception. My grandfather, who was close to ninety, had come for Sunday dinner. He had done this only twice before. In large part, this was due to my mother's condition. She could tolerate only the most perfunctory talking and no loud noises at all. Because of this, we lived in monastic stillness rarely speaking, including at meals which were almost always eaten in silence. When dinner was over, my grandfather got up and went outside. Minutes later, my mother directed me to go sit with him. I remember feeling nervous as I opened the door. What do you say to a man to whom you've never spoken other than to utter hello? Moreover, having been raised in near silence, I had no idea how to have a conversation. Worse yet, there were only two chairs behind my house. This left me with one option--to sit right next to him. Nervously, I sat, and as I did he spoke my name. Even now, I can hear his gentle voice. And although I had no way to know it at the time, this conversation was about to change my life. What happened next never fails to make me well up with tears, not so much from what he said but rather, because of how it made me feel. For the first time in my life, someone spoke to me as if what I thought mattered. As if I was not invisible. As if I existed as a person of some importance. Indeed, I have no words for what I felt other than to say I felt alive. Can you picture me, a pathologically-shy twelve year old hanging on every word? My grandfather was eager to tell me about his life. And I was hungry to hear what he had to say. But just as I began to settle into what I felt sure was to be the most important conversation of my life, the back door slammed open and my mother shouted, "shut up, pop." At which point, we resumed our silent poses. Fade to black. Today, I know my grandfather was a disciple of the empirical wise man. My grandfather was a storyteller. Sadly, I met no other until I entered AA more than twenty years later. I mention this as it seems to have been the event which kindled my obsession with unraveling human nature. Indeed, from that day on, my hunger for people's stories has never lessened. And along with it, my need to uncover the mysterious patterns hidden within these stories. (from Unraveling Human Nature, with permission from Emergence Alliance Publishing)
- What advice would you give a customer looking to hire a provider in your area of work?
Do not be too impressed with a therapist's credentials. Rather, trust your gut as to whether a therapist is right for you. When you call to make an appointment, ask if the therapist still works on him or herself. Also, ask what they have contributed to the world for free.