Art Teacher

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Tan Peluski • Portland, OR • $10 per hour

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I will expose the secrets of the art scene!

I am a teacher to artists, but I will not teach you how to make art. Instead, I will teach you how to navigate the art scene wherever you might live -- how to get into galleries, find the right collaborators, not get screwed over on commissions, etc.

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Question and answer

Q. What advice do you have for a customer looking to hire a provider like you?

A. Be honest, I can't help you if I don't know your situation in its entirety. Oh, and don't get married to a woman you met at a bar.

Q. If you were a customer, what do you wish you knew about your trade? Any inside secrets to share?

A. I wish I knew how to become a famous artist in the hottest galleries driving a Corvette or Lexus like all the curators.

Q. What questions should a consumer ask to hire the right service professional?

A. You should probably ask, how long have you been in the business? I have been knee deep in the Art Scene for 50 years.

Q. What do you like most about your job?

A. The benefit of being able to hang out with young, aspiring artists, and have them pay me to do so is also quite nice.

Q. What is your greatest strength?

A. I have the liver of an alien robot goliath. The amount of toxic chemicals and substances I have exposed myself as a journalist covering the wild art scene would have killed a legion of ninjas, but here I sit.

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Tan Peluski

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