Diablo Valley Relationship Center

Introduction: In couples' therapy, we try to help partners to address their problems and reconnect. We will gladly use other tools when useful, but we all depend heavily on Susan Johnson's emotionally focused therapy (EFT) and for a very simple reason: It works. Research shows that 90% of couples report significant improvement within 12-20 sessions of EFT. Two years after couples' therapy, studies show that 80% have maintained their gains, and 60% are doing even better than at the end of therapy as compared to other couples' therapies, for which these figures are 33% and 20% respectively or worse. EFT is the only couples' therapy to receive the top rating by the American Psychological Association as empirically validated, more than twice as effective and longer lasting. Process-wise, EFT is based on the observation (not original to EFT) that couples mostly have the same argument(s) over and over. Couples think that they are arguing about (or, sometimes, ducking arguments about) topics like money, parenting and sex, but seem actually to be "hitting each other's buttons" in the same ways, over and over, with each attempt to resolve (or duck) making that emotional process of disconnection worse. As EFT therapists, we assist the couple to get underneath their reactions to one another's hot buttons, to develop the empathy and communication skills to deliver (or return) their relationship from that process of disconnection. We teach couples to repair ruptures so that they can soothe, connect and collaborate more readily and more deeply. Dr. Findley also wrote her dissertation about premarital counseling, which both she and Dr. Seiff-Haron practice. With all of the research supporting EFT, we think it's the best thing since chocolate.