Introduction: We ave been married and working together for over 30 years supporting married and unmarried couples co-create the relationship of their dreams.
The way we work is based on our belief that the way couples communicate with each other in marriage and love relationships brings out the best and worst in each partner. When communication flows they feel close and connected. When communication breaks down, they feel distant and disconnected. Communication breakdown is the tip of the iceberg of what is really going on. So we begin with pinpointing when and why this happens and then we guide couples to address what is really going on beneath the surface so that healing and growth can occur within each partner,as well as within the relationship.
Therefore, we believe that love and marriage provides the perfect environment for each partner to take the appropriate action steps to be in integrity with the legacy they want to live with their mate.
The complimentary telephone consultations we provide help couples who are interested in getting support for their relationship to have an opportunity to discover how we can best meet their needs, whether they work with one of us or alternate between the both of us.
We have been working with couples for a very long time and have a multitude of testimonials many who are graduates of our weekend workshops about the benefits they have received in co-creating the quality of life they want to experience together.
The counseling sessions and workshops are outcome based. What that means is after we discover what the couple is struggling with in their relationship, we guide them to peel away the layers beneath the surface of their communication breakdown or conflict to discover what is really going on between them. And usually what is really going on is they have lost the feeling of a loving, caring and respectful connection between them. Repairing and restoring that connection then becomes the focus of the work. We guide partners, step-by-step to take the action steps that will successfully support them to navigate the journey from where they are to where they want to be. In the process both partners gain a deeper understanding of themselves and each other in a way that is compassionate and affirming. That is what we believe couples desire and deserve.
Couples who come to us for pre-marriage counseling receive support to prepare them for developing a success plan for their marriage. They are introduced to tools that will support them to expand and deepen what is already working and turn whatever challenges they may be experiencing now or in the future into opportunities for growth for each partner.
Year after year, couple after couple, we have been blessed to witness true transformation in the very special people who come to our office or who attend our workshops. As Dr. Maya Angelou has said so beautifully, "when people know better, they do better".
What we know for sure is when couples come in to see both of us or just one of us, they arrive with the relationship skills that they have developed over their life time. Some of those skills support the quality of the relationship both partners want and some do not, especially the relationship "survival skills". When either partner is in "survival mode" and communication breaks down in the "heat of the moment", no one can hear or understand the other and things go downhill instantly.
What we both enjoy is helping couples turn that pattern around in a way that benefits them both. What we know for sure is that each spouse or partner is really trying to communicate something very valuable and that message cannot be conveyed or heard when one or both are frustrated, angry or upset and are operating in "survival mode'. When couples are introduced to a better way of getting their message across and to hear the message of their spouse or partner, healing and growth occurs. That is because both partners know better and therefore are doing better. How awesome is that?
