Introduction: THE STORY BELOW IS VITAL, FOR YOU TO READ! PLEASE READ IT ALL THE WAY THOUGH: ❤️🌹🌹👌👌
If you are here on Thumbtack, looking for a counselor to help with any relationship, even the one with yourself. Then you will get a better idea about why people might need counseling... and no matter who you pick to hire...this is an important story for why you should do what you are thinking about doing!
We don't have to look very far in our world to see how eroded life, at every level, has become. Family --Marriage --Church--Government -- Work relationships -- Neighbors -- Shopping -- Driving -- and just about every other part of society has been abused, broken and misused, by this present world we live in.
If you could imagine standing, overlooking a great, rushing river, what you would see would be incredible power. Water, rushing hard enough, can wash a house right off into the river, foundation and all, sometimes. That power is incredible to see...unless it is your house getting washed away. Right?
Do you feel, in some part of your present situation, that a mighty river is just about out of its banks? You can hear! You can see it rising, foot by foot. In most cases, all of that power rushing & powerfully taking everything we have think of as stabling Watching those things, we have depended on, floating off & into a great river. As it goes, soon every part of that thing you thought would always be there, for your benefit, in just about a moment, all of the pieces become submerged, & only a few small pieces of wood on the top so fast down this river, and just like THAT! It is all gone. What an empty feeling!
Now, that does not sound like very good news, does it? No, it really is not the way, that we had planned for our lives to go. Quite often, I hear people say to me, things like this. "Pastor Ron, I don't know what happened. My wife/husband and I were moving forward, things were good, at least, I thought they were. It, actually, seemed like smooth sailing & just like that...BANG...it was just, went under before I could do or say anything!"
That is exactly what I am hearing almost daily now, from people in all of the many areas, I mentioned above & many more. You might ask, "What is making all of this happen? Well, that is a good question & if we can meet together, I believe that we will figure, that answer out together. However, I will tell you this right here: "PERSPECTIVE," that, is what we are dealing with. We are not looking in the right place to see what is actually happening, right there, everyday, as we are living our life out.
Do you remember the man, in this story, that I just shared? You see, that man was up on the top, & he was looking down into the river. From his perspective, everything looks great except, for the amount of water in that river, It has risen exponentially in just a very short time. If he looks down, at his feet, it feels and even, looks like every thing is just A-OK!
The grass is green, it feels just like it always has, and everyone else says; "The last time this river came out of its boundaries was 100 years ago".
"Yes, Son, everything is going to be, just fine!" "Relax! Nothing bad is going to happen." "Isn't the view just amazing?"
What is the problem then? -- PERSPECTiVE! -- That is our problem! "What do you mean, Pastor Ron?" Well, here it is, I'm going to lay it out for you to see it!
Staying on the top feels great, you are above, all of that stuff! You know, that kind of "stuff" that caused our best friends, to get a divorce? It took their marriage down, but we won't go down, because we have what it takes!" " WE REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER!!"
Then, you go on thinking, "Everything at, our house is good!"
"We have a nice house, we have 2 cars & a boat & 2.5 kids & a mortgage... (I never figured out how you can get a .5 kid.) "After all, our kids, get good grades, and they bring, all of the awards home, at the end of the school year." "Yeah!! We will be ok, everyone says that we have the best marriage of anyone in our church, even stronger that the pastor's marriage."I mean, we have always been able to communicate , so well!" "I mean, we fight a little, but we let it drop, after a while. "Why, we can't even remember what we were fighting about."
What is wrong with this picture? A lot of things really, Let me name a few: Pride, Comparisons, Depending on ourself & what we have and, you guessed it! "PERSPECTIVE!!"
What we must do to get our relationships strong and keep them strong, is to get, on the other side, of that river, when it is not raining...," The water is not rising... right now!"
When you remember, and get some time, you go down there, across the river, looking up, at the place you had been standing before, Then, from that perspective, you can actually see, the horrible erosion, "it sure didn't look like 5 years ago when I was down here, or was that 8 years ago..." Then you take a look at those notes you made the last time you were here. (Remember, that was the last time you went to that couples retreat, or was it that time you decided to get counseling a few years ago, then you think "oh yeah, we went once, then,..." "Remember, I got that bad cold that lasted, 2 or 3 days, we never went back, I' didn't think, it was helping anyway." Then you ask, yourself... "WOW! what happened?"
Back to the story, on the other side of the river, getting perspective "Under that area, where I was standing before. There was 25 feet underneath there, now there is only 10'," "Well, if I am being completely honest , there is only 7.5 feet left under, exactly where my feet were at, standing, back up, on the top." "Man!" "That doesn't feel, near as safe, as it did before, yes, the water hasn't come out of its boundaries for 100 years. But, throughout that hundred years, it has been doing a lot of damage."
"But wait, it's not only eroding, from the top, but it is also dug 35 feet, back under where we were standing, then it was before." We don't have even close, of foundational ground under that spot we were standing. You might think; the other day when I was standing up there and water was rushing by, I felt so safe, but from this perspective..."I think my stomach hurts!"
If you, actually made it this far in the story!
Then, let me tell you this. You should totally decide, which counselor to go too! But! Get there! and Get there soon! The way we rebuild the damage of erosion, is getting, a different perspective, and sometime, we have been looking at it, for a while, but if you leave things where they really are, based from this perspective...it is going to feel like it is unfixable, because it might seem like, you waited too long.... It is never, too late However, we really need to get, busy, call for emergency help, get in the car and head for divorce court. NO NO NO! WAIT! There is this counselor, I saw on Thumbtack, he/she has good reviews/might not help at this point, but at least, the people closest to us, and we too, will be able to say; "We tried everything!" I guess we waited too long. We got too busy! too lazy! We forgot to go get a different perspective, to see how much our relationship has eroded." Man, I wish I would have....!"
It is not too late! Just get somewhere,. Get a different perspective! Find some answers, for the present season. The answers you received before you were married...you may have thought you guys didn't need counseling before the big day. You may have thought, "What could we possible gain from spending all that money, all that time, all that effort." after all, marriage doesn't seem like a big deal.
I watched my parent. stay married all the way until, I was 10." They didn't make it look that hard, I mean...we were doing ok!...until just before dad left, and we wound up, in divorce court...even then, mom met a guy, like the first couple of weeks after the divorce. It took dad a little longer... I mean it took him a while, I think he brought home like 7 different women for us to meet...no maybe it was 10 women....Anyway, he finally found the one. They fight all the time...but we have been going to church every 3 or 4 Sundays. You know, I don't like to go that much, no one really talks to us, or even seems to know when we are there, I'm sure they don't notice all of those Sunday's we miss. ...."
Well, this story is made up... but the parts of the story are not made up. I see and hear these very kinds of stories, about people, relationships almost every day of the week. They tell me stories, just like this. They were, too busy, too tired, to get a different perspective, and see things like they are...they seemed satisfied to try to live, like it has been like it was still the same, as the day we got married.
It is not just marriages that are in trouble...everything in our society has eroded so bad. We spend more time in our world trying, to put off a good image, rather, putting time in to get things stronger. Then we don't have to worry about image...we can live it out, in real time, and help our children grow up, with a regular plan, to always get another perspective!
Pastor Ron Isam