Jeff LaPenna - Healing Through Empathy - Nonvio...
Jeff LaPenna - Healing Through Empathy - Nonvio...

Jeff LaPenna - Healing Through Empathy - Nonvio...

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Introduction: My main practice is Nonviolent Communication (NVC) which I use daily in my own life and use as the foundation of my services in counseling and conflict mediation. I have spent most of my life struggling with depression and NVC has been the tool that empowers me to manage my emotions and take action. Through NVC and self-empathy I am now living a much healthier life. Nonviolent Communication is a methodology believing that every action we take is the result of a need that is either met or unmet. Underneath every expression we make, every decision, every thought there is a need that propels us forward. When our needs are met we celebrate and we feel good. When our needs go unmet we often experience some kind of pain, anger, or frustration. Because I believe most people are raised with ineffective forms of communication, I aim to help people understand themselves and others on a needs based level. Once we understand ourselves and others on a needs level we are better able to communicate and ultimately have those needs met. I’m on a mission to bring better communication to the world. I have spent most of my life struggling with depression and am hoping to share the tools that empower me to manage my emotions and take action. I currently work as a creative professional as well as an Nonviolent Communication (NVC) facilitator in various contexts. One way in which I’m bringing better communication to the world is through my volunteer class at San Quentin State Prison where I co-facilitate an NVC class for inmates, helping them learn new emotional processing techniques, more effective ways of communicating to themselves and others, and ultimately more freedom in an environment where they have very little. I believe that everyone can access more freedom in his or her life.
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John C.
Jan 7, 2016
Jeff is a gifted and natural born counselor and conflict mediator. He has helped me so much in gaining clarity around my own emotional process, allowing me to peel back the layers of my understanding to learn what my deepest needs are. In the time that he’s been practicing, I’ve watched him explode fully into this role, gain insight and clarity into his own life, and develop a strong desire to share it with the world. Know that your sessions with him will be rooted in that deep sense of passion and love for this practice. It starts with a series of exercises in self connection. The objective here is, “In order to know how to resolve my own conflict, I need to understand the underlying needs of where they are coming from.” This is where Jeff is truly gifted, in asking the right questions, employing deep listening and empathy to help you discover what those needs are. He doesn't push you in any one direction, but rather he is trained in employing tools to help you understand for yourself what you are truly needing underneath all the muck that might be clouding your judgement. For example, I had a difficult decision about which job to take when I was offered two. We sat and had a moment of self-connection, during which we identified what my feelings were. Then, looking at each feeling, we identified the underlying need that was there, talking through ideas such as, "I feel this way, what am I needing that I am or am not getting?" After that, we determined was truly important to me based on each of those needs. I learned that one job would offer me security and safety, and the other would offer me creativity and freedom. Based on where I was at that point in my life, my need for creativity was far stronger than my need for safety. I was able to arrive at a solution that left me feeling empowered, because I had come to my own determination of what I wanted and had solid reasons for justifying them. I picked the creative job, and to this day I am extremely grateful that I made that choice! I now use these tools whenever I face a conflict with others, and especially as a tool for internal conflict mediation. For me, this process has felt like turning on a light switch, and the sense of relief that has come with this has been invaluable. He has incredible intuition, endless patience and compassion for this practice. He’s worked not only with me about my own individual processes, but he’s also worked with me in employing this practice as it relates to my boss, my peers, and my relationship. I can’t recommend Jeff enough for sharing these incredibly valuable life skills.